What If I Fall, What If You Fly

How to speak when it’s all said and done.

When it’s known, with certainty, that you can no longer outrun

The reality of us, that we aren’t in a place to see

That the other person may be worth, setting the pain free.

Yet we tried, and we can’t, and in circles we go.

Each seeking validation and care, from the person they love so.

But we can never find each other, shouting our names

While lost in a forest that never seems to fade.

We searched and we tried, but our maps didn’t match

Yours a language of details and mine just asking for a simple patch,

They guided us to places where we could not be found

Desperate to connect, only more anger rose from the ground

Bewildered and wild, we were lost trying to find

Each other’s treasure, magic words, to leave it all behind.

With no way forward and no way back, we stumble out into the grass

Without the our person, our home, our past, the forest was just too vast.

But my love for you never fades, as far away as it may seem,

I think of you every day, and see you in my dreams.

Dreams where we found each other, dreams where we found the key

I’m lucky I get to see you here, the best versions of you and me

I know you loved me deeply then, and possibly maybe still

But I don’t think you understand, that I would always be fighting uphill

To be who you wanted, to be who you needed, as deep down I knew I wouldn’t be enough to fill

Your lifelong desires and need for adventure

There once was a girl, born middle class, peasant,
She grew up with the crowd, the usual, those expected
but Good looks, charm, complexity started making those expectant
That maybe she had more to show, then just an old regular peasant

The allure of superiority was thick each day, not created by her,
but by those that usually pay
Reverance and admiration, as her aura continues to grow
All of a sudden it dawn s on her, that control she could sow

The world was her oyster, and thus the
So puppeteer she became
but the master never needs to acknowledge that puppets are people with pain
Play play play, roles in the play,
THe highest of action and the most despicable to many’s dismay

She’s young and she’s wild and the world is at her feet
And as such, the story’s only has one protaganist
whose feelings determine the beat
Time moves, and so much pain, caused to those surrounding her
Those who love her and her heavenly endearment, but they
are just shadows with no coherence.

Their feelings are not the story, they aren’t considered within
As the only thing that matters, is the queen moving at her on whim
The trauma, the wounds, just bodies left lying behind,
Crying tears of love lost, but that is not her duty to find.

On she goes, on she grows, and life begins to turn
Maturity brings reality, and allures begin to burn
She slowly starts to understand, that her past is black & condemned
Perhaps equivalent hardships have opened her heart, that she can grow and her story can bend.

Bend but won’t break, the spine is too strong,
She knows what really lies beneath, is someone flawed but fights against wrong.
What a wise soul, she must truly understand her kin,
No longer quite the master, as no one should be, but she has been through her own evil and her own wins.

All of a sudden, similiar behaviour, coming from another, bewilders her and dismays her.
What the hell? Who are you to judge? I thought you were the wise soul who learned from her bad judgement during her youthful blur
Yourself given grace, yourself given forgiveness, but perhaps no accountability?
How can you now deem yourself the warden, of those exhibiting what you have been?

What a waste of potential, a heart who could truly help
But no, once the chaos was over, you pardoned yourself and put on your crown,
You are forgiven, you are free, and what a fantastic person you yourself see,
But you watch for peasants, one foot in the wrong, and the queen will make you bleed.

How can one not see the complete hypocrisy? Well of course, that’s what happens when one lives completely consumed by their self-appointed superiority.

I’ve never met someone so open with their sexuality, shame someone so maliciously and demeaning to one of same kin.

Breath, breath, pace of the breath.

Real is what was seen and heard by nature all around.

Reality is that based in intonations, laughter, core memories with colors and smells.

Reality is what you feel, deep in the gut where it dwells.

You’re about to lay in, and think it may be fun,

I see the charge coming, and turn around to run.

Have you ever fallen, without hope to touch the ground,

The edge you’ve been living on, grasping for breath while you drown

Yet still sure the hand of yours chosen,

Will come for you, an untold promise of lifetime devotion

Destined to be bound, fated, our bound was special, always knowing we were unique.

Doubts non-existent on grand reciprocal emotions, no other would she need to seek.

But time passes, and you tearfuy llpart ways,

To survive the toxicity that you let take over your days

Pain that slashes vicious cuts, both parties committed to their tale

Villains and demons alike in both worlds, but truthfully the hearts so ever frail

Longing and cravingfor the love that once was shared, but you were the one, so it’ll always be there,

….but maybe, could it really be, that only one of them cared.

Faith destroyed, you were so sure,

That both of your intentions were pure.

Yet just a sail in the wind, amongst a vast array of ships

And you finally understand why your love was destined to thinned,

One was simply passing through, and a marvelous vacation it may have become

But never destined as home, didn’t you read the fine print clause

Now you know, you twin flame found those feelings in another

Their dancing partner wasn’t you, and your heart is then smothered,

None of it was real, as pages from opposite books can’t possibly tell a fantasy.

Your chapter simply the ever-in-love partner, a single drop of water while crossing the sea.

I would have gotten that tattoo, I would have said why not.

But I never knew or was told, this was something you intensely sought

4 years, no mention, and now you finally see,

That 6 months was all it took, for you to fall in love more deeply then you ever did with me.

Sunlight through the corner window, and we stir awake

Thoughts of the day, and frowns of past ways begin to ache

Not ready, not there, the weight of water in the cup remains,

But running away has proved fruitless, as the feelings still drive the train,

How to heal, how to peel, the layers surrounding raw emotions

When stripping defense leaves us vulnerable to attacks that leave us senseless

We build back stronger and hide the treasure in the highest tower.

We almost died, the first time, and our doubt secretly wilts like a late fall flower.

Beneath the front gate, desperate for recognition of soul, some calm and compassion.

Dreaming of the tunnel, validation feeding each step, into the courtyard, but heart still ashen.

We glance and we glare,

with deep breaths through the hopeful air.

But of course, we were dreaming as the entry is simply a trojan-horsed the demon.

It’s in our home, and breaths fire onto innocent thoughts, incinerating our sense of self, our own words a simple afterthought.

Rationality lost, practicality tossed, replaced with anger that we cannot seem to cross

Off the list of traits we’d like to erase, in becoming the person who can make space,

To fill their cup full of the nightmares you need to face,

Holding your hand and stitching the wounds,

But alas, all you’ve done is assumed.

Mouths tape closed while the fire burns hot, the dream is just a thought left here to rot.

leveledupmindset:

Inflation

rawhoneybliss:

No, you’re not asking for too much.